AND.... We're back!

Scout made the trip home last week with an overnight stop in North Carolina. They arrived home Wednesday and were no worse for the wear after the long trip. Cue the synchronized rolling and galloping (clearly, Scout's idea):

 

I let him settle in for a day or so and Nora took him for a spin to be sure he wasn't feral after plenty of days off and the long trip home. I was delighted when she sent me an update saying NOT FERAL (along with heart emojis). So we decided I'd come down for a lesson the following day!

He undoes me<3

He was super cute when I got to the barn and spent a lot of time nuzzling me and saying hello in his coy manner. I feel SO fortunate to be able to keep him at her farm for the time being. It's a bit of a hike (it takes me about 50 minutes each way) but the barn is stunning (Scout's stall is easily 14 x 20), it has AMAZING hacking and huge hills, super turnout, a regular ring, a xc course and a grass jump field... it's pretty perfect. Better yet, it's QUIET, there are no boarders that aren't training clients and she has a few ship-in clients for lessons. The farm has super chill energy and the horses seem to love it. More than anything, I'm craving some guidance and supervision for this next chapter in our journey together.

I brought both my saddles to see if they would still fit Scout with his new and improved physique and much to my dismay, they are NOT going to work. And while I'm devastated to sell both my jump AND dressage saddle she reminded me that she doesn't even recommend a dressage saddle until the rider is going Training... okay, fair enough. I'm hoping I can cobble together enough money from the sale of those and some side gigs to get something that will work for the long term.

I was stunned to see that my big boy had really grown up during his stint in Ocala. He has some unbelievable muscles that were definitely NOT there before (and keep in mind, I sent him to Florida in really good condition and with a decent level of fitness) -- but it's amazing what someone more skilled can bring out in their bodies. He's got these gorgeous shoulder muscles and a block of new muscle just in front of his shoulder near his withers! I literally went to his stall to say HI and was like, "Wait, did he get bigger?"

When your already giant horse sees something in the distance and the periscope goes up!

So I borrowed a saddle for my lesson and hopped on for the first time in over 3 months. And OH MY GOD... He feels incredible. One of the nicest compliments I've ever gotten from a pro is that I've done a nice job with Scout... that's all well and good, but we were at a physical and mental crossroads where he needed (and deserved someone who could really work out some kinks). He'll always have his shortcomings, but Nora has helped to establish muscle memory where it did not exist so I can continue to make those weaknesses less and less noticeable.

SO CUTE.

And when I handed over my beloved horse to Nora, I was very open about where he was lacking and what I hoped she could improve while he was with her. Namely, he loves to swing his haunches in tracking right, loves to pop his shoulder tracking left and was quite resistant to the right leg (which we had come miles and miles from where he started by the time I left him with her), he had a mostly confirmed half-halt on the flat that needed fine tuning and he had a bad habit of going deep and pulling down when he got tired.

From the moment I got on I felt a straight and connected horse underneath me. At the walk he MARCHED, connected in both reins and looking for guidance with my legs. She had us start the lesson with leg yields from the quarterline to the rail and you should have seen my face when I applied my leg and put my weight in my outside stirrup he responded by moving his whole body! When I needed more push, he would respond and if he started to get quick I could halfhalt with my outside rein to keep him from breaking into the trot. He still felt like my horse, just improved. We moved on to trot work and we explored his range within that gait by getting the energy we wanted and then putting him on a 10 meter circle and asking for shortening and lengthening there, then leg yielding him out until we were going large again. It was incredible what a difference it made to create all that energy in a small circle and then keep it going around the ring. She had me work on collecting his trot by posting quieter but more up and down and then really letting him out and posting big to get a lengthened trot. He has buttons! Better yet, when he wants to get a little deep, all I have to do in close my leg and he comes UP at the wither and changes his connection. There was zero sucking back against my leg, there was no nappy behavior, no kicking out, no tail swishing or ear pinning -- just a fit athlete with a "Yes ma'am" attitude. *Sorry about the crummy video stills.

Going for a bit more trot down the long side

Keeping the energy and shortening the step

Funny how I can sit up and ride a little when I'm not struggling every step with my horse!

via GIPHY

We moved up to the canter and I made the mistake of asking him like a green horse which he completely told on me for doing and sort of scrambled into the canter. But given that we were starting on "my" bad lead I was super happy that he picked it up and felt actually straight. From here she had me shorten my reins by 3" and keep my hands out in front of my with my elbows at my side and really scoop him up into the contact. She kept acknowledging that he has a REALLY big canter, but that it was important to ask for more and more hind step to get him really uphill. We practiced compressing the stride and then thinking gallop down the long sides to get him really uphill, from there I could half halt in my body and keep the step but at a slower pace. I had the silliest grin on my face the whole time. Here I was riding this horse that was up in front of me and I felt like I could actually ride a little bit!. For the downward transitions all I had to do was open my chest and let out a breath and he'd go into a beautiful forward trot, in balance. Once I got my shit together and started riding him like the young adult that he is, our transitions were much improved. He's now listening to a more educated aid for the canter (inside leg and outside rein) and stepped beautifully into the canter once I figured that out!

He still takes a TON of leg, it's not that he doesn't have energy, but he needs support at the base of each stride to keep him UP and not just running flat. Luckily Nora and I are similar in height and build, so at least while he's been learning a more refined way of going it's been with someone with normal sized legs!

I had been so nervous beforehand that 1. I forgot how to ride and would make a fool of myself, 2. Scout would not respond to me the way he did with her, 3. I wouldn't like Nora's teaching style. Even after just one ride together, I love knowing that if I tell her what I am feeling she really understands what I mean and can help me translate my aids to Scout a little more clearly. I enjoyed her teaching style enormously, she rides every stride with you and is patient while also making you hold up your end of the riding deal. He's so, so special and I am incredibly happy that I made the decision to send him to Ocala. Thank you to everyone that encouraged me to do so and to everyone that supported all my neurotic behavior while he was away.

Love him SO much

I had been kicking myself a little for not riding him when I went to visit in February but I felt like it was worth waiting until he very end to see just how much he had learned. It was like finding your Christmas presents and opening them a few weeks early... And in the end it was SO worth the wait!!!

Ocala visit, Part 1 -- Setting My Ego Aside

I saved this quote a few months ago after doing some hard thinking about the way we support one another both publicly and privately. There's been some conversation going on around the blogosphere about this very topic but I think it's important to highlight. I think we're all guilty of passing judgment behind the scenes, and the risk of putting ourselves out there on a blog is that our readers are going to have opinions (both good and bad) -- so we prepare for them every time we hit "Publish". Mostly though, I hope that the people who read my blog try to understand me and my journey and respect and support that even if it doesn't align with their goals.

So when I came back from Florida, I found myself a little tentative about sharing the details of my trip in fear of being scrutinized. Mainly because... Did I ride: YES -- Did I ride my horse: NO.

We came up with a plan before I flew down: to flat Monday, take him to a jumper show Tuesday and XC school Wednesday before I flew back. I drove straight from the airport Monday morning (4am wake up!) to go see Scout who did a bit of a double take when he saw me.

O HAI MOM!!!!

I had planned to flat him also Monday but after watching him go around with Nora, I decided that I'd perhaps hack him later on Monday or have a lesson Tuesday. She's JUST started to really unlock him on the flat and to be 100% truthful, I didn't want to hamper the progress they were making... she never pressured me in either direction, but it was clear that she was at a very crucial part of his training -- additionally, I think she wanted to show off what they've been working on:) And given the amount of time and money I am investing, I need things to go very, very well. She's finally got him really soft off the leg and allowing more pressure laterally. He's really working nicely over his back and coming through.

This step, this softness, this frame -- all of it. <3

His transitions are sharp and focused, his leads are confirmed and balanced and his frame is much different. He's really lifting at his wither and as a result, his neck looks amazing! I was most impressed by the difference in his walk which has this intense freedom in his shoulder and push from behind. She's getting control of those long legs and he's getting a little better at listening and waiting for instruction vs. I GOT DIS.


via GIPHY

The thing he's struggling most with right now is learning to use his hind end properly. He's finally got a good half halt installed but he still blows past it at times thinking he knows best, which usually ends in poles flying everywhere. Increasing his education on the flat and learning how to utilize his hind end is completely changing his jump style too. When he decides to wait and sit, he jumps like a freak. He's always been a good jumper but holy cow...


via GIPHY

When he gets it wrong, he just jumps bigger. To be fair, this exercise was REALLY hard for him -- but he never stopped trying. She's adding lots of tricky exercises like this to really get him to learn to wait and sit. There were lots of poles before and after single fences to get his brain and feet thinking too.

Finding that 5th leg:)

I was really pleased to see him locking on to fences and being so keen. He's really loving jumping right now, maybe even TOO much as he gets pretty bold and wants to do it his way.

But he's learning to halfhalt and rebalance and when he does, his jump is really spectacular! She does an incredible job of supporting him and also staying out of his way without letting him feel abandoned. It's that kind of fine tuning that makes me feel so good about having him under the tuteladge of someone so experienced and intuitive. She's been schooling him at 3'-3'6" to get him going confidently higher than what he'll compete at (for awhile).

He was completely hilarious after she finished up while we stood there chatting he kept inching closer and closer to me so he could be touching me at all times. He definitely knows his mama! I got to spend some time with him cleaning him up after his ride and stuffing him full of treats.

The kid is maturing = stands on crossties perfectly now

And while I felt a little conflicted about not being in the irons myself, it was fabulous to see what he's learned so far and where he still needs work. She admitted that it took 4-6 weeks just to unlock him on the flat, and I believe it! It's clear that she's taken a methodical approach to figuring him out while always providing a way for him to find the answer. He's extremely happy with her program and it shows.

Stay tuned for the next part of our Ocala trip where the weather does not cooperate with us, I go on conditioning rides at the Davidson's and Scout goes XC schooling and blows me away! Thanks for riding along with us:)

Riding Fit (The Body) Part 2

It's not new information that getting fit enough to effectively ride your horse is important. For each rider that level of fitness is completely unique. For me, my depression plays a large role in making my body hurt and sometimes it's hard for me to distinguish between mental health associated pain and actual I'm-getting-old pain. I've always been a pretty athletic person, and part of my aches and pains now have to do with a lifetime of putting my body through a lot of wear and tear. I did competitive gymnastics as a child and as a result all my joints are pretty janky with some limitations on range of motion. Being a working student (again) at age 37, was a really good way for me to whip my body back into shape... and once that ended hot damn if I didn't gain the weight back and then some. I was happy yes, but I was not happy at the person in the mirror. Then, over the summer I herniated a disk in my back which really, really sucked. My doctor cautioned me to rest and once I was ready to start working on building up the surrounding muscles surrounding the injury to help support it going forward.

I cringe looking at these, at least Scout is cute

The first couple of months after injuring my back were very frustrating as the thing that bothered my back the most was being in the saddle. But I adapted to it and worked through the pain adding more and more time each ride. And by the end of October I felt like I was ready to ramp up the physical activity again. So at the beginning of November I ran a 5k (because that's a totally normal way to jump back into exercise) and I didn't die. I was excited that I actually had the wind and stamina to actually run the whole thing! My back hurt a LOT from running, but I was determined. So we joined the local Y so I could start swimming and eventually work up to more serious exercise.

If you don't take a gym selfie, did you even work out? (*I took all of these pics for the sole purpose of the blog)

There is just one problem with all of that... I HATE THE GYM. Like, really and truly do not like being there at all. But I am also extremely stubborn and so I started going anyway. I struggled to find a routine that I liked and was just overwhelmed with all of the choices and equipment and classes. My SO encouraged me to sign up for a few different apps that helped give me some guidance and before I knew it was in a regular program (a mix of cardio and strength training). And it didn't take long for me to see and feel just how much it was improving my riding.

Running

Despite the fact that I hate the gym, I DO enjoy running. But running outside proved to be entirely too concussive on my back so I started on the treadmill and found it to be much easier on my back and my joints. It wasn't long until I was up to running 15+ miles a week over three runs and I was really loving it. As an added benefit, I was developing some real mental fortitude. Running for an hour is a real testimony in mental stamina and I already appreciate how that helps me push through on those more boring times in the saddle. In addition, I've got my wind back again which feels amazing. Not being out of breath and being able to push through tough moments when I'm riding feels awesome. Scout on the other hand does not really appreciate my new found stamina and was legit shocked when I was able to continue on without taking breaks to catch my breath!

In a normal week, I try to do weight training 3 days a week (alternating days) and cardio of some sort on the days in between. Usually I give myself a day of to rest but not always. When I first started out I was running on all my cardio days because I really loved it, but I really needed to mix things up because my body was telling me I was running a bit too much too soon. So I gave several options a try until I found a routine that I really enjoy (I still hate being at the gym).

Stairclimber

Elliptical

Jacobs Ladder - this is an actual torture device

The stairclimber I really like because it works your upper legs and glutes which obviously has direct benefit for riding. While my legs are strong, my thighs are easily the least toned part of my body and this machine pinpoints that area while also providing some good cardio. I hate the elliptical machine and think it's completely bogus, while it burns calories I don't feel like I ever get a real workout on it. I have since switched to an Arc Trainer which is a bit of a variation on an elliptical and I really enjoy the kind of workout it gives me. One thing that's pretty interesting about using any of these machines is that I have really uneven legs (my right stirrup is always at least a full hole longer than me left) and when you're working out on an elliptical machine (for example) that small difference becomes quite dramatic. So I'm trying to use these machines to work on creating more evenness on both sides of my body. I sure hope it works because I think Scout would appreciate a much more even rider! The Jacobs Ladder machine is just a torture device and I don't recommend it unless you want to feel like dying after a minute. The longest I've been able to consecutively use it for is 7 minutes... SEVEN. I also use the row machine at least once a week and I love thinking about how the motion of using the rower mimics an exaggerated jump position. It's really helping me create muscle memory for hinging at the hip and the pull of the row bar feels very similar to galloping with a bridged rein (okay, maybe these are a bit of a stretch but it helps me tolerate the gym if I just pretend it has applications for riding).

It's just an X Scout, jeepers

One of the reasons that I wanted to start strength training is because Scout is a big, athletic and powerful ride. He was so easy to ride when I first got him, I never really thought about how much different he would feel after several hundred pounds and consistent training. That probably sounds naive, but it's remarkable. Emily came to ride him recently and was stunned, she said she couldn't believe what a physical ride he was now! Even when he's being light in the bridle he requires a ton of core/leg power to stay with him and I owe it to him to be able to hold up my part of the equation and not just sit there like a lump.

Why am I so insecure in workout leggings but totally fine in riding pants?

The program that I'm doing is alternating days with a combination of upper and lower body work. Each time you complete a series at a certain weight you incrementally go up in weight the next time you do that activity. Currently I'm doing the following: Bench Press, Barbell Rows, Incline Bench, Squat, Back Extension (these have been amazing for my lower back muscles), Overhead Press, Chin Ups, Deadlift and Curls. Usually, each day is a combination of 5 of these items and takes around an hour with warm ups.

And for someone that HATES being at the gym, I am loving lifting weights. I actually look forward to particular exercises (deadlift and squats I'm looking at you) and struggle with others (overhead press is just so hard) -- but it's also revealing the parts of my body that are truly strong and the parts that need work. Not shockingly, my lower body is quite strong, while my upper body is a bit on the weak side and it's time to get the rest of body in shape!

Learning to get deeper in my squats

My back continues to improve strength wise and I've noticed that when I skip days of strength training due to schedule conflicts, my back feels awful. So I'm going to try to stick to this plan and see where it takes me. Turns out that maybe doctors actually know what they're talking about, even if it's a slower road to recovery.

My arms look better than they did when I was a working student!

Ultimately, I don't have a particular strength goal or fitness milestone to achieve, but I'd like to continue progressing incrementally. I've made some loose goals for mileage for running, but that is all contingent upon my body holding up. I've finally reached the point in my life where I am listening much more closely to what my body is telling me and adjusting my plan accordingly. Funny, since that's my entire approach to Scout's training and it's taken me forever to figure it out for myself! My super vague goal is to be MUCH stronger than I was when the spring season rolls around. And now with my horse off getting super fit and schooled I better be in tip top shape when he returns!

So after about 2.5 months, I still hate the gym, but I like the folks that go there (they do all kinds of really cool programs for seniors and special needs) -- I'm less intimidated working out in the weight room and I'm starting to like the person looking back at me in the mirror. Getting old is tough, but I can influence how old I feel both mentally and physically. Self care is crucial and it starts one step at a time. Here's to everyone going out and doing what makes them feel strong inside and out and making themselves the best possible partner for their horse.