Ocala visit, Part 1 -- Setting My Ego Aside

I saved this quote a few months ago after doing some hard thinking about the way we support one another both publicly and privately. There's been some conversation going on around the blogosphere about this very topic but I think it's important to highlight. I think we're all guilty of passing judgment behind the scenes, and the risk of putting ourselves out there on a blog is that our readers are going to have opinions (both good and bad) -- so we prepare for them every time we hit "Publish". Mostly though, I hope that the people who read my blog try to understand me and my journey and respect and support that even if it doesn't align with their goals.

So when I came back from Florida, I found myself a little tentative about sharing the details of my trip in fear of being scrutinized. Mainly because... Did I ride: YES -- Did I ride my horse: NO.

We came up with a plan before I flew down: to flat Monday, take him to a jumper show Tuesday and XC school Wednesday before I flew back. I drove straight from the airport Monday morning (4am wake up!) to go see Scout who did a bit of a double take when he saw me.

O HAI MOM!!!!

I had planned to flat him also Monday but after watching him go around with Nora, I decided that I'd perhaps hack him later on Monday or have a lesson Tuesday. She's JUST started to really unlock him on the flat and to be 100% truthful, I didn't want to hamper the progress they were making... she never pressured me in either direction, but it was clear that she was at a very crucial part of his training -- additionally, I think she wanted to show off what they've been working on:) And given the amount of time and money I am investing, I need things to go very, very well. She's finally got him really soft off the leg and allowing more pressure laterally. He's really working nicely over his back and coming through.

This step, this softness, this frame -- all of it. <3

His transitions are sharp and focused, his leads are confirmed and balanced and his frame is much different. He's really lifting at his wither and as a result, his neck looks amazing! I was most impressed by the difference in his walk which has this intense freedom in his shoulder and push from behind. She's getting control of those long legs and he's getting a little better at listening and waiting for instruction vs. I GOT DIS.


via GIPHY

The thing he's struggling most with right now is learning to use his hind end properly. He's finally got a good half halt installed but he still blows past it at times thinking he knows best, which usually ends in poles flying everywhere. Increasing his education on the flat and learning how to utilize his hind end is completely changing his jump style too. When he decides to wait and sit, he jumps like a freak. He's always been a good jumper but holy cow...


via GIPHY

When he gets it wrong, he just jumps bigger. To be fair, this exercise was REALLY hard for him -- but he never stopped trying. She's adding lots of tricky exercises like this to really get him to learn to wait and sit. There were lots of poles before and after single fences to get his brain and feet thinking too.

Finding that 5th leg:)

I was really pleased to see him locking on to fences and being so keen. He's really loving jumping right now, maybe even TOO much as he gets pretty bold and wants to do it his way.

But he's learning to halfhalt and rebalance and when he does, his jump is really spectacular! She does an incredible job of supporting him and also staying out of his way without letting him feel abandoned. It's that kind of fine tuning that makes me feel so good about having him under the tuteladge of someone so experienced and intuitive. She's been schooling him at 3'-3'6" to get him going confidently higher than what he'll compete at (for awhile).

He was completely hilarious after she finished up while we stood there chatting he kept inching closer and closer to me so he could be touching me at all times. He definitely knows his mama! I got to spend some time with him cleaning him up after his ride and stuffing him full of treats.

The kid is maturing = stands on crossties perfectly now

And while I felt a little conflicted about not being in the irons myself, it was fabulous to see what he's learned so far and where he still needs work. She admitted that it took 4-6 weeks just to unlock him on the flat, and I believe it! It's clear that she's taken a methodical approach to figuring him out while always providing a way for him to find the answer. He's extremely happy with her program and it shows.

Stay tuned for the next part of our Ocala trip where the weather does not cooperate with us, I go on conditioning rides at the Davidson's and Scout goes XC schooling and blows me away! Thanks for riding along with us:)

Riding Fit (The Body) Part 2

It's not new information that getting fit enough to effectively ride your horse is important. For each rider that level of fitness is completely unique. For me, my depression plays a large role in making my body hurt and sometimes it's hard for me to distinguish between mental health associated pain and actual I'm-getting-old pain. I've always been a pretty athletic person, and part of my aches and pains now have to do with a lifetime of putting my body through a lot of wear and tear. I did competitive gymnastics as a child and as a result all my joints are pretty janky with some limitations on range of motion. Being a working student (again) at age 37, was a really good way for me to whip my body back into shape... and once that ended hot damn if I didn't gain the weight back and then some. I was happy yes, but I was not happy at the person in the mirror. Then, over the summer I herniated a disk in my back which really, really sucked. My doctor cautioned me to rest and once I was ready to start working on building up the surrounding muscles surrounding the injury to help support it going forward.

I cringe looking at these, at least Scout is cute

The first couple of months after injuring my back were very frustrating as the thing that bothered my back the most was being in the saddle. But I adapted to it and worked through the pain adding more and more time each ride. And by the end of October I felt like I was ready to ramp up the physical activity again. So at the beginning of November I ran a 5k (because that's a totally normal way to jump back into exercise) and I didn't die. I was excited that I actually had the wind and stamina to actually run the whole thing! My back hurt a LOT from running, but I was determined. So we joined the local Y so I could start swimming and eventually work up to more serious exercise.

If you don't take a gym selfie, did you even work out? (*I took all of these pics for the sole purpose of the blog)

There is just one problem with all of that... I HATE THE GYM. Like, really and truly do not like being there at all. But I am also extremely stubborn and so I started going anyway. I struggled to find a routine that I liked and was just overwhelmed with all of the choices and equipment and classes. My SO encouraged me to sign up for a few different apps that helped give me some guidance and before I knew it was in a regular program (a mix of cardio and strength training). And it didn't take long for me to see and feel just how much it was improving my riding.

Running

Despite the fact that I hate the gym, I DO enjoy running. But running outside proved to be entirely too concussive on my back so I started on the treadmill and found it to be much easier on my back and my joints. It wasn't long until I was up to running 15+ miles a week over three runs and I was really loving it. As an added benefit, I was developing some real mental fortitude. Running for an hour is a real testimony in mental stamina and I already appreciate how that helps me push through on those more boring times in the saddle. In addition, I've got my wind back again which feels amazing. Not being out of breath and being able to push through tough moments when I'm riding feels awesome. Scout on the other hand does not really appreciate my new found stamina and was legit shocked when I was able to continue on without taking breaks to catch my breath!

In a normal week, I try to do weight training 3 days a week (alternating days) and cardio of some sort on the days in between. Usually I give myself a day of to rest but not always. When I first started out I was running on all my cardio days because I really loved it, but I really needed to mix things up because my body was telling me I was running a bit too much too soon. So I gave several options a try until I found a routine that I really enjoy (I still hate being at the gym).

Stairclimber

Elliptical

Jacobs Ladder - this is an actual torture device

The stairclimber I really like because it works your upper legs and glutes which obviously has direct benefit for riding. While my legs are strong, my thighs are easily the least toned part of my body and this machine pinpoints that area while also providing some good cardio. I hate the elliptical machine and think it's completely bogus, while it burns calories I don't feel like I ever get a real workout on it. I have since switched to an Arc Trainer which is a bit of a variation on an elliptical and I really enjoy the kind of workout it gives me. One thing that's pretty interesting about using any of these machines is that I have really uneven legs (my right stirrup is always at least a full hole longer than me left) and when you're working out on an elliptical machine (for example) that small difference becomes quite dramatic. So I'm trying to use these machines to work on creating more evenness on both sides of my body. I sure hope it works because I think Scout would appreciate a much more even rider! The Jacobs Ladder machine is just a torture device and I don't recommend it unless you want to feel like dying after a minute. The longest I've been able to consecutively use it for is 7 minutes... SEVEN. I also use the row machine at least once a week and I love thinking about how the motion of using the rower mimics an exaggerated jump position. It's really helping me create muscle memory for hinging at the hip and the pull of the row bar feels very similar to galloping with a bridged rein (okay, maybe these are a bit of a stretch but it helps me tolerate the gym if I just pretend it has applications for riding).

It's just an X Scout, jeepers

One of the reasons that I wanted to start strength training is because Scout is a big, athletic and powerful ride. He was so easy to ride when I first got him, I never really thought about how much different he would feel after several hundred pounds and consistent training. That probably sounds naive, but it's remarkable. Emily came to ride him recently and was stunned, she said she couldn't believe what a physical ride he was now! Even when he's being light in the bridle he requires a ton of core/leg power to stay with him and I owe it to him to be able to hold up my part of the equation and not just sit there like a lump.

Why am I so insecure in workout leggings but totally fine in riding pants?

The program that I'm doing is alternating days with a combination of upper and lower body work. Each time you complete a series at a certain weight you incrementally go up in weight the next time you do that activity. Currently I'm doing the following: Bench Press, Barbell Rows, Incline Bench, Squat, Back Extension (these have been amazing for my lower back muscles), Overhead Press, Chin Ups, Deadlift and Curls. Usually, each day is a combination of 5 of these items and takes around an hour with warm ups.

And for someone that HATES being at the gym, I am loving lifting weights. I actually look forward to particular exercises (deadlift and squats I'm looking at you) and struggle with others (overhead press is just so hard) -- but it's also revealing the parts of my body that are truly strong and the parts that need work. Not shockingly, my lower body is quite strong, while my upper body is a bit on the weak side and it's time to get the rest of body in shape!

Learning to get deeper in my squats

My back continues to improve strength wise and I've noticed that when I skip days of strength training due to schedule conflicts, my back feels awful. So I'm going to try to stick to this plan and see where it takes me. Turns out that maybe doctors actually know what they're talking about, even if it's a slower road to recovery.

My arms look better than they did when I was a working student!

Ultimately, I don't have a particular strength goal or fitness milestone to achieve, but I'd like to continue progressing incrementally. I've made some loose goals for mileage for running, but that is all contingent upon my body holding up. I've finally reached the point in my life where I am listening much more closely to what my body is telling me and adjusting my plan accordingly. Funny, since that's my entire approach to Scout's training and it's taken me forever to figure it out for myself! My super vague goal is to be MUCH stronger than I was when the spring season rolls around. And now with my horse off getting super fit and schooled I better be in tip top shape when he returns!

So after about 2.5 months, I still hate the gym, but I like the folks that go there (they do all kinds of really cool programs for seniors and special needs) -- I'm less intimidated working out in the weight room and I'm starting to like the person looking back at me in the mirror. Getting old is tough, but I can influence how old I feel both mentally and physically. Self care is crucial and it starts one step at a time. Here's to everyone going out and doing what makes them feel strong inside and out and making themselves the best possible partner for their horse.

2018 vs. 2019

The beginning of 2018 brought so much uncertainty for Scout and what our future might be together. And after the scare of him getting cast and the subsequent cellulitis that formed as a result, I owed it to him to pump the brakes and take a long hard look about what I wanted from him. What I ultimately decided was to take things slow... maybe even painfully slow to outsiders. He was after all, a very big, very immature youngster who needed time to heal and fill out physically.

Fall 2017 -- Fall 2018

So that's exactly what we did... and we had some mixed results. In addition, I reached out to trusted professionals to help develop my athletic youngster and help shape him into a suitable mount for me. I dealt with WAY too many truck problems and FINALLY got my rig back on the road. My lessons stopped due to said truck problems which was beyond disappointing but I stuck to my regime of working with Scout both on the ground and under saddle and he really began to blossom. Ultimately, these setbacks led to me not wanting to blog at all -- but if you follow me on any other social media platforms, you know what we've been up to!

He's been LOVING life at the new barn, and absolutely thriving. In fact, he's perhaps feeling a bit TOO good. I think he's finally in his big boy body and he's really ready for the next step in his education.

The best he's ever looked in winter

I was so thankful to have the indoor to retreat to this fall/winter when we got nothing but rain for months and months because he really needed a job to do. He was definitely starting to tell me he was getting bored, even with the indoor riding routine.

ANOTHER growth spurt this fall

Longing for days like this again

I tried to mix things up for Scout a little by having a friend come ride him here and there (which he was very opinionated about) -- and then he got a few weeks off after my 40th birthday -- which coincided with the holidays. After Christmas my BO asked if I would be interested in coming to Wellington to nanny for a week or two (like I was gonna say no) and so I started to make a plan for what Scout would do while I was away.

But what if I want EXTENDED vacation?

There would be a resident trainer at my barn while I was out of town but I thought since my rig was back up and running I'd like to reach out an event trainer, specifically someone close to the Davidsons (since I work for them in summer/fall). So after a little research I decided to send Scout to Nora Battig-Leamer for 10 days! I have a few friends who have either ridden with her or had her work with their thoroughbreds and I really like her riding style!

As it turns out, she thinks Scout is quite special (his step and jump being quite impressive) and after some logistical conversations, we decided he should go to Ocala with her until the end of March to continue his education! He's going to have an amazing opportunity to go and do and see ALL THE THINGS and come back a more mature, more well-educated horse! It seems like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me and for him and I am so excited to see how he progresses. I have a few trips planned to go see him while he's there and of course, I plan to take lessons on my some of my BO's horses while he's away so I don't lose my sea legs!

Who is this grown-up creature?

So, I'm over here trying to adjust to not having my horse around -- which is SUPER weird... and I thought I'd jump back into blogging (I have a ton of fun things on deck to talk about). 2019 is off to a MUCH better start than 2018! Here's to keeping all them positive vibes running through the blogosphere.

The trouble with horses

My god, I've been a shitty blogger... my last post was May 10th? 

And I'm sure that after my last post everyone thought maybe I sent Scout to the Amish. Not to worry though, he's still eating $$$ like it's his job.

The truth is, we've had a couple months of bad luck. After my last post, we took Scout to Plantation for a schooling, which he really stepped up like a big boy and took in the terrain and sights and sounds like a champ.

View from the top of the hill (not for the faint of heart)

 

I guess he likes getting to the base!

Enthusiastic horse is enthusiastic

And he even conquered the water without a single issue:)

We had been scheduled for Scout to make his eventing debut just two weeks later at Fairhill but unfortunately he contracted Anaplasmosis a few days after this xc school. The poor guy spiked a 103.5 temp with hot front feet and legs and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't completely freaked out. We treated him very aggressively, and he responded wonderfully, but we lost 2 weeks of riding while he recovered.

Not long after this I decided to move him (yes, again) to a great facility with an indoor that had a few spots open up. For an additional $25 than what I was already paying, having access to three rings and an indoor seemed like a no brainer.

Day one at the new barn, looking fly

<3

I think he's growing again and I can't even...

Awesome indoor

View of the outdoor -- there are so many cool jumps!

The new place is (again) mostly a hunter/jumper barn with great facilities. It's a family farm that's been in the area for a long time so while it has terrific amenities it's not snooty at all. Bonus is that Valley Forge Park is just a short hack away with 100s of miles of trails! The barn has it's own jumper series that they run and they have clinics and events throughout the year... despite all of that, it never feels busy or crowded.

And since we've moved, he's had a touch of cellulitis (the day before I went out of town for 4 days) and then had a bout of choking the day I returned from a 10 day vacation! The cellulitis doesn't even get me worked up anymore, we just treat it and it resolves very quickly. The choking was alarming because he's never had any issues like that before, but we're going to do an endoscopy to see if he's ever had a tie-back. He doesn't roar or anything, but he does make a little noise when he tense under saddle, so if he did have an old tie back I'd just like to know for the future.

Since the last time I posted, I've had some medical issues including herniating a disk in my back. To further add insult to injury, the entire brake system in my truck failed and needed to be replaced (that happened the day before I left for vacation) -- but we're back on the road again.

In some better news, we have started taking lessons with an eventer nearby and Scout's been going very well under her guidance. She rides him for the first 15 mins of our lessons (to save my back some pain) and LOVES him. He's been jumping out of his skin and looking quite fancy on the flat.

His canter is getting SO cool under saddle. Now if only I could actually sit it!

That hind step<3

Trot isn't too shabby either

He can get heavier in the eggbutt french link, but it also makes me ride more correctly

So fingers crossed we've gotten all the bad luck out and we can get back to the fun stuff! I hope after all this time I still have a reader or two left! I'll try to do better!

On being proactive

<----------This?

This is the face of a horse who would never worry his owner.
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Which would be true if he were a cartoon character, or a stuffed animal, but he is not. He's a living, breathing, money eating machine that seems to thrive on giving me grey hairs and high blood pressure. But I love him all the same, mostly.

But this is the curse of horse ownership right? That constant balance between the high you feel after a great ride or the feeling you get when your horse nickers at you and the lowest of lows when your horse is so desperately trying to tell you something hurts and you can't figure out where or why.

If only you could talk!

But the thing is... owning a horse is more about the grey area. The days of mediocre rides and small break throughs, pulled shoes and mystery lamenesses that leave us scratching our heads. And our role in all of that is to be the very best advocate we can for them.

I realize that this varies, WILDLY amongst horse people. There are the "wait and see" types, the "bubble wrap the horse" types, the "let's call the vet every-single-time" types, the "I'm going to post this on OTTB connect and get advice" types, and everything in between. If I had to describe myself I'd say that I'm a bit old school about some things but I'm also very cautious.

I take what I know about my horse and try to apply my knowledge base around that horse's particular issues. Some horses are stoic (mine is not), some are prone to certain types of issues (cough, cellulitis, cough), some never tell you anything but you have a gut feeling that they are not quite right (I find those the most frustrating).

And when I say I'm cautious I mean that I probably build more recovery time into my treatment protocol than some. For example, after Scout got cast and developed a nasty vasculitis I kept him on stall rest judiciously, and turned him out slowly. And while he seemed sound, I did not push his training schedule because he was not completely 100%. I gave him a little more time (an additional week of turnout and no riding) and it was worth it to see him moving like this:

Strong and stepping evenly (and happy!)

And so when he came in from turnout with a big fat leg two days after these photos, my proactive protocol kicked in once again. Vet worthy? No. Needs immediate treatment and care? Yes.

Who me?

What I thought was just mud is actually a gross scab + fat leg

Once I got under all the mud and scrubbed the leg I saw what appeared to be a gross scrape. No biggie, BUT since I didn't know how long it had been there (I had been away from the farm for two days) and given the mud, I opted the best course of treatment was a 5 day cycle of smzs, a day of stall rest, and overnight wrapping. The antibiotics are to keep any sort of cellulitis from developing hopefully. He did have a slightly elevated temp (but like a half a degree), and given his history it's better to treat this judiciously. And while he was sound on it, there was no reason for me to push him to work on it.

Cleaned up but gross

And he'll be fine. The cut will heal, he will hopefully not develop a cellulitis, and he'll be sound and happy again. And that's the end goal for me... keeping him happy (first) and sound (second). But they go hand in hand I think.

I think at the end of the day it's hard to trust that we are always doing the best by our horses. What happens when you don't trust yourself to make a decision? Do you have a good support system to bounce your ideas/worries off of? What happens when you don't agree with or worse, you don't trust your vet? How do you know where to start or stop with treatment? How closely do you listen to what your horses needs?

Maybe I listen a bit too much (to my horse, to others), but that's my prerogative. Your protocol is yours. While some might find me too cautious, I might find others too cavalier. But it's all a learning experience in the end. 

And God he's worth the worry. <3